Tell me why.

I often wonder why I have a blog.
Does any of what I write here matter?
Does anyone read it? 
Does anyone like it?

Will anything that I write here be held against me?
Will anything that I write here change someone?
Will anything that I write here change the world?

By asking these questions, am I being avoidant?
By asking these questions, am I feeding my fear?
By asking these questions, am I tearing down my confidence?

Am I crippling myself because I am afraid?
Am I spinning my wheels because I want guaranteed acceptance of what I write?
Am I stuck in neutral because I want guaranteed praise of what I writes?

Am I afraid of criticism?
Am I afraid of being seen? 
Am I afraid of being heard?
Am I afraid of being acknowledged?
Am I afraid of being recognized?
Am I afraid of being wanted, desired?
Am I afraid that people will want to be around me?
Am I afraid that I will be smothered by people being around me?
Am I afraid that I will lose myself because people want to be around me?

So all these questions make me think that my logic is that if I write in my blog then I will lose myself because I want to please other people. That my blogging means that I will be some trained monkey who is dancing for the reward of acceptance from other people. How fucked up is that?

Approaching the reflective apex.

"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates

People reach an age where reflecting on their lives, their past, holds a benefit not only for themselves but for others. Too often introspection, examining your past, is the purview of the "important" people, the decision makers, the rulers, the celebrities, troublemakers or the moralists. These people find it necessary justify in writing, to the world, their actions. As if this will absolve them of any harm, oppression, injury or evil caused by them and their behavior.

But what about the common people? What about the people who rode the ripples caused by these so-called leaders? Do they ever need to voice their reflections, their reactions? Could they be the true leaders because of their instinctive adaptation to changes in their lives?

Perhaps everyone should have a blog. Not a blog for rambling about "your issues" rather an essay blog where an issue, question or event can be addressed en masse by individual participants and observers. It could be like a societal response portal. Everyone would log in to it to respond and give their opinions. Then it would close to any further responses to that specific issue, while other topics are opened up for discussion.

I realize it sounds like a mandatory web forum, but I am trying to figure our a way to get the broadest input from as many individual members of society as possible. Imagine what insights could be found if a larger number of people were able to speak their minds at the beginning of the Industrial Revolution or during the height of the Black Plague.