Old Guy Fanfic # 1

Once upon a time, Uncle Grandpa, Steven Universe and Clarence found themselves in a Tom and Jerry cartoon directed by Tex Avery. They died.

THE END

Some days just aren't Friday.

Every once in a while, I am struck with depression. Not just blah, but a feeling of Dread, like a hand clasping your soul. Stopping your enthusiasm, Slowing your feelings of being alive. Coming in like an ectoplasm, clogging your extrasensory abilities. then it turning into an iron grip.

Depression is the slowing down of your life that gets out of control until despair takes over stopping all enjoyment and all feelings. This is the greatest danger of a leisure oriented lifestyle, but it is not limited to that lifestyle. It just makes you more susceptible.

You begin to feel less valuable and don't want to know why. You just sink into doing nothing, feeling nothing and being nothing. 

Reach Out To Love

Reach Out To Love

Reach out your hand to love,
get it shoved away.
Reach out your hand to love,
get it slapped away.
Reach out your swollen hand to love,
get it crushed.
Reach out your gnarled hand to love,
get it burned.
Reach out your charred hand  to love,
get it burned.
Reach out your charred stump to love,
get it touched and caressed.

Be yourself

If you feel weird, different or don't belong remember that you have to be comfortable with your difference, your weirdness and ultimately yourself. Do it without forcing yourself on anyone nor letting anyone force themselves on you. Your existence is a vibrant, powerful energy that radiates into the Universe. It is a beacon attracting supporters and detractors, those who will want to reflect it or mute it. The truer you, the most honest and accurate presentation of yourself, that you put out in the Universe, including both strengths and weaknesses, the easier it will be reflect your brilliance and more difficult it will be to distort, diffuse and mute.

Be yourself. Define yourself. Nuture yourself. The Universe has a place for you, but you need to step in to it.

Don't you worry child.

"Up on the hill across the blue lake,

That's where I had my first heart break

I still remember how it all changed

My father said

Don't you worry, don't you worry child

See heaven's got a plan for you

Don't you worry, don't you worry now."

- Swedish House Mafia, "Don't You Worry Child" (Song), 2012.

Words of wisdom from Viking Kid.

Packer kids, when your "parents" ridicule the Vikings for collapsing in NFC Championship games, you now know the hurt that they are ridiculing. Does that seem fair?

Tell me why.

I often wonder why I have a blog.
Does any of what I write here matter?
Does anyone read it? 
Does anyone like it?

Will anything that I write here be held against me?
Will anything that I write here change someone?
Will anything that I write here change the world?

By asking these questions, am I being avoidant?
By asking these questions, am I feeding my fear?
By asking these questions, am I tearing down my confidence?

Am I crippling myself because I am afraid?
Am I spinning my wheels because I want guaranteed acceptance of what I write?
Am I stuck in neutral because I want guaranteed praise of what I writes?

Am I afraid of criticism?
Am I afraid of being seen? 
Am I afraid of being heard?
Am I afraid of being acknowledged?
Am I afraid of being recognized?
Am I afraid of being wanted, desired?
Am I afraid that people will want to be around me?
Am I afraid that I will be smothered by people being around me?
Am I afraid that I will lose myself because people want to be around me?

So all these questions make me think that my logic is that if I write in my blog then I will lose myself because I want to please other people. That my blogging means that I will be some trained monkey who is dancing for the reward of acceptance from other people. How fucked up is that?